Mental Health
Mental health, a subject that has been talked about a lot in recent years. Everyone has to deal with it, regardless of age or which part of the world you come from. Now I am not a doctor or specialist, so everything I say/write here is based on my own experience and not on medical science or medical knowledge.
I myself deal with my own mental health on a daily basis, at the time of writing it is not in order. Last night I already noticed that something was wrong. I was slow in everything, doing and thinking. As if a heavy blanket was placed over me that slowly limited my movement and slowly closed my airways.
At 2300 hours I decided to go to bed, hoping that the heavy blanket would be gone the next day. However, I hardly slept last night. The ceiling has 2352 ''waves'' in the plasterwork. My cat has 6874 hairs on its tail and the sidewalk has 426 tiles in front of my apartment. Now these are made up numbers, but it does show how I got through the night, staring at objects. The heavy blanket has wrapped itself well and firmly around my body with my hands on the inside. I can't move in any way. I'm trapped in this heavy blanket with no hope of liberation. That's how it feels every time again.
On days/weeks like this, my only salvation/support is music. And then mainly slow melancholic music. Most people would most likely become more depressed from this, I personally find support in it.
It is precisely by listening to gloomy lyrics, and letting them work well on me, that I keep my head above water. There is a song by the German band Diary of Dreams that describes exactly how I feel: Tears of Laughter. Especially the first 2 lines always hit me deep.
Below the full text:
I myself deal with my own mental health on a daily basis, at the time of writing it is not in order. Last night I already noticed that something was wrong. I was slow in everything, doing and thinking. As if a heavy blanket was placed over me that slowly limited my movement and slowly closed my airways.
At 2300 hours I decided to go to bed, hoping that the heavy blanket would be gone the next day. However, I hardly slept last night. The ceiling has 2352 ''waves'' in the plasterwork. My cat has 6874 hairs on its tail and the sidewalk has 426 tiles in front of my apartment. Now these are made up numbers, but it does show how I got through the night, staring at objects. The heavy blanket has wrapped itself well and firmly around my body with my hands on the inside. I can't move in any way. I'm trapped in this heavy blanket with no hope of liberation. That's how it feels every time again.
On days/weeks like this, my only salvation/support is music. And then mainly slow melancholic music. Most people would most likely become more depressed from this, I personally find support in it.
It is precisely by listening to gloomy lyrics, and letting them work well on me, that I keep my head above water. There is a song by the German band Diary of Dreams that describes exactly how I feel: Tears of Laughter. Especially the first 2 lines always hit me deep.
Below the full text:
I would be crying tears of laughter |
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Now I am not writing this to arouse pity from the readers. I do not need the pity of others. The reason why I am writing this is to try to put into words how this feels. Both for you as a reader, and for me personally. Maybe a glimpse inside my head and feelings can help you spot it in others, and give them the support that they are desperately looking for.
I do want to make one thing very clear, this is not how I feel every day. It has its so-called ups and downs. Today and the coming days/weeks I am most likely in a down, but there will definitely be an up again. I will NEVER give up! Life has to much to offer to give up. Ever forward!
I do want to make one thing very clear, this is not how I feel every day. It has its so-called ups and downs. Today and the coming days/weeks I am most likely in a down, but there will definitely be an up again. I will NEVER give up! Life has to much to offer to give up. Ever forward!
About the author:
This essay is written by Pep, 2025
This essay is written by Pep, 2025