We Always Judge, And How To Use That In Your Advantage
Don’t judge a book by its cover
It’s a saying most people have used once or twice in their lifetime.
And everybody who has ever used it (and actually meant it) is either naïve or dishonest. Now before you start screaming at me, let me point out the following:
A CV is scanned within 7 seconds, dating apps are all about the cover, it’s usually the only thing visible on such apps, people cross the street when they see an ‘’unsavoury’’ person heading their way. All these decisions are made by JUST judging the cover.
This saying is far from the actual truth, it’s moral wishful thinking. A pipedream.
And everybody who has ever used it (and actually meant it) is either naïve or dishonest. Now before you start screaming at me, let me point out the following:
A CV is scanned within 7 seconds, dating apps are all about the cover, it’s usually the only thing visible on such apps, people cross the street when they see an ‘’unsavoury’’ person heading their way. All these decisions are made by JUST judging the cover.
This saying is far from the actual truth, it’s moral wishful thinking. A pipedream.
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Let me give you the following example:
It’s late at night, the streets are deserted, you are lost and your phone is out of battery. You see a person standing near a bus stop, he is wearing sturdy black army boots, wide black pants, black t-shirt with a demon on it, heavily tattooed, wearing a hoodie. You only see his wild long beard coming out of the hoodie. |
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A few meters further you see the following person:
Nice polished dress shoes, well fitted black pants, black collared shirt with a gilet with slightly red colours on it. Huge beard and also heavily tattooed.
Who will YOU ask for directions? I am pretty sure most readers choose the second person. Why? Because they judged the book by its cover. That’s not a moral judgement, it’s a safety analysis judgement. Not judging is dangerous, blind faith is naïve and dangerous.
Nice polished dress shoes, well fitted black pants, black collared shirt with a gilet with slightly red colours on it. Huge beard and also heavily tattooed.
Who will YOU ask for directions? I am pretty sure most readers choose the second person. Why? Because they judged the book by its cover. That’s not a moral judgement, it’s a safety analysis judgement. Not judging is dangerous, blind faith is naïve and dangerous.
And you’re not going to like this:
The boots,
The polished shoes,
The gilet,
The demon shirt,
I am both men you just judged on their cover
We are currently living in times that say:
Be open!
Be inclusive!
Do not judge!
Meanwhile, in the real world we see the exact opposite.
Social media is all about the perceived image everyone creates of themselves
Companies put millions of dollars in their branding
People themselves create their own personal brands.
Now tell me again, how true is the saying ‘’Don’t judge a book by its cover?’’
That isn’t idealism, it is collective self deceit.
And if everyone is judging, it would be a foolish move not to learn how to use it.
The boots,
The polished shoes,
The gilet,
The demon shirt,
I am both men you just judged on their cover
We are currently living in times that say:
Be open!
Be inclusive!
Do not judge!
Meanwhile, in the real world we see the exact opposite.
Social media is all about the perceived image everyone creates of themselves
Companies put millions of dollars in their branding
People themselves create their own personal brands.
Now tell me again, how true is the saying ‘’Don’t judge a book by its cover?’’
That isn’t idealism, it is collective self deceit.
And if everyone is judging, it would be a foolish move not to learn how to use it.
So you fake your way through life?: Well yes, yes I do. It opens doors that stay shut for you.
As I stated before, I am both of those men, the sharp dressed man AND the evil looking one.
The trick is to know when to use which image and to master each created image.
At my last job I dressed as the second man, demons, upside down crosses, devils, slight nudity, you name it, I had it on a t-shirt I wore to work. When I thought to myself; You know what, they always say people judge on your image, let’s see how true this is.
An online shopping spree later and I had my first (green) gilet and a well-fitted black dress shirt.
The first time wearing it to work people were immediately impressed. Everyone asked me; Are you going to a fancy dinner after work? Maybe a wedding party, perhaps even a funeral. And right after the initial ‘’shock’’ I noticed a difference.
People treated me differently. With more class. More respect. Nothing about my competence changed. Only the fabric did. Why? I was still the same person.
I then bought even more black dress shirts and gilets. 2 blue gilets, 2 black and 1 red. I started to also act a bit differently. I felt confident in these clothes as it is (in my eyes) a beautiful style, but also as people treated me with more class and respect my confidence grew. I started to perform better in the eyes of many. Was that true? No. I did the exact same amount of work, in the exact same way as before. But due to how people perceived my image, my cover, they also saw my work in a different light. A brighter light.
With my new job I only dress casual on Friday, all other days I dress up. On Friday I do not dress like I do at home. I always wear a black jacket, zipped up so nobody can see my t-shirt. And if the day comes that someone asks what kind of t-shirt I wear beneath it, I can safely open it up as I always wear a black t-shirt without a print, or a dark coloured tie dye shirt.
What you give, is what you get, and that also counts for your image.
And before someone says, so you fake your way through life, I say: Well yes, yes I do. It opens doors that stay shut for you.
Besides, do you act 100% the same with friend A as you do with friend B? Everybody acts. And if you put on the correct costume for it, you just started to act even better.
So we always judge a book by its cover, it’s a natural thing to do. Use it to your own advantage, if you are willing to put in the work of course.
The world was never fair nor will it ever be. However the world is predictable, and predictability can be mastered.
The trick is to know when to use which image and to master each created image.
At my last job I dressed as the second man, demons, upside down crosses, devils, slight nudity, you name it, I had it on a t-shirt I wore to work. When I thought to myself; You know what, they always say people judge on your image, let’s see how true this is.
An online shopping spree later and I had my first (green) gilet and a well-fitted black dress shirt.
The first time wearing it to work people were immediately impressed. Everyone asked me; Are you going to a fancy dinner after work? Maybe a wedding party, perhaps even a funeral. And right after the initial ‘’shock’’ I noticed a difference.
People treated me differently. With more class. More respect. Nothing about my competence changed. Only the fabric did. Why? I was still the same person.
I then bought even more black dress shirts and gilets. 2 blue gilets, 2 black and 1 red. I started to also act a bit differently. I felt confident in these clothes as it is (in my eyes) a beautiful style, but also as people treated me with more class and respect my confidence grew. I started to perform better in the eyes of many. Was that true? No. I did the exact same amount of work, in the exact same way as before. But due to how people perceived my image, my cover, they also saw my work in a different light. A brighter light.
With my new job I only dress casual on Friday, all other days I dress up. On Friday I do not dress like I do at home. I always wear a black jacket, zipped up so nobody can see my t-shirt. And if the day comes that someone asks what kind of t-shirt I wear beneath it, I can safely open it up as I always wear a black t-shirt without a print, or a dark coloured tie dye shirt.
What you give, is what you get, and that also counts for your image.
And before someone says, so you fake your way through life, I say: Well yes, yes I do. It opens doors that stay shut for you.
Besides, do you act 100% the same with friend A as you do with friend B? Everybody acts. And if you put on the correct costume for it, you just started to act even better.
So we always judge a book by its cover, it’s a natural thing to do. Use it to your own advantage, if you are willing to put in the work of course.
The world was never fair nor will it ever be. However the world is predictable, and predictability can be mastered.